Friday, January 9, 2015

Single And Not Sorry: 3 Reasons

In which you find out reasons why to be happy, really, actually, happy, and single.

Have you ever felt that thrill of a great idea or a thought, clicking into place, and suddenly the world was a better place? 
I did.

 I hurriedly scribbled them out in the nearest notebook, before they got away from me and I couldn't catch them again. That was months ago.

It's actually these scribblings that sparked my blogging desire again:

"Where am I at? I am an adult, not married, living with my parents. I have a job and some hobbies. 

Mostly, I guess you could say, I'm being grateful that I am not married. 

Yes. You read that right.

So, SO many people I know, young ladies all of them, spent their single years ultimately unhappy, always pining for marriage, forever bemoaning that they weren't being loved the way they wanted to be. They wanted to feel fulfilled, escape their current family lives, their parents...many different reasons. Marriage was the biggest thing in their lives. The desire to be unconditionally loved had a massive pull on their hearts.

Not for this girl.

Don't get me wrong. I would love to be married. 

That would be indescribably great. It is going to be a wonderful thing, to be someones wife.
To find a companion is something my heart really does ache for. I admit that my heart is tugged by that same longing...come on, who isn't?


I am on a path to find joy, great joy, in singleness. I refuse to spend the relatively few years I will have in singleness, wishing that I was not single. I would regret that so much, I know I would! 

Why pine for companionship when I can use my time to be there for those who are lonely, in need of a friend?

Why waste my brain on sour discontent?
 When I can be squeezing more productivity out of the day?
 Thinking about all my blessings? 
Learning useful skills for when I am married?
 Becoming the me I should be?

Marriage is beautiful. It's holy. Sanctified by God. For right now, though, my thoughts are on other passages in scripture that make me so, so thankful that I am single. 

 Paul wrote a letter to some people called the Corinthians. To the unmarried, and the widows, he says, "It is better that they remain as I..." He, being unmarried. 


"If a virgin marries she has not sinned.  
Yet such will have trouble in this life, 
and I am trying to spare you."*

  This passage fills my single heart with such
   contentment as can never be conveyed to another with words! 

I don't believe that this passage is meant to make us feel bad about being married. Rather, take it as a way to be encouraged in your singleness. 

Now that I have that great joy established, I ask myself: What can I do and where can I go with being joyfully single? 

"The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, 
is concerned about the things of the Lord, 
that she many be holy both in body and spirit;
 but one who is married is concerned about the things 
of the world, how she may please her husband.
 This I say for your own benefit, not to put a restraint 
upon you, but to promote what is appropriate
and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord" *

Later, Paul says that in his opinion, he thinks an unmarried woman is happier as she is.

Happier. As. She. Is. 

In the future, I hope to be able to read the the New testament with particularly the eyes of a single person, with this very joy in my mind, and seeing where that will take me. 

I am both intimidated and excited by this!

Are you a fan of lists? Me too. To Sum up:

1. I don't want to waste my singleness. I want to grab every single (bad pun intended) opportunity that is open to me, so that:

2. I can befriend others, share time with them, enrich their lives, consequentially, enriching mine.

3. I can be a holier person. 

Because I'm also a fan of complete openness and honesty, let me tell you, I'm not there yet. This is me on my way to becoming content with God's love alone. 

And I'm a firm believer in the fact that once I am actually content with Gods love, only then will I be ready for a companion on this earth.

Until then? I will find joy in my solitude. 

*wondering why I don't have Bible references? Its all in 1 Corinthians 7. Go read it.


  1. Hello again, Jillian! This post is a good reminder for me! Though I may still have struggles with how to apply the use of my single years (I think you know what I mean), what you have mentioned is the foundation, and something that I need often to remind myself of. It’s also just encouraging to be reminded (even though I know) that others face the same things I do! And really, as much as I do long for marriage, I am very happy to be single, and I love being with my family. I also know that God works out everything in His good time, and as wonderful as marriage can be, no man can love me as much as my Savior does. So thank you for those reminders, and for the encouragement that pushes me to make sure I am using my time well, and pursuing the things of God. : )
    Yeah, I have your email. Thanks for the invitation. I definitely keep it in mind. ; ) Love you – Becca Lee

  2. Yes, yes, yes! Perfectly stated. I've had these thoughts and resolutions for awhile, but needed this reminder that I'm not the only one choosing to be contented single until the Lord orchestrates my love story in His time. Thank you Jillian!